April is a big month for my family. Darren turned 52 on the 2nd, I turned 51 on the 14th and our anniversary was on the 25th. To celebrate 17 years of marriage, Darren and I got away for a night at the Lakeway Resort and Spa.
I really enjoyed the spa and the night away, but I have been struggling with turning 51. The big hoopla 50th Birthday party last year was just the right amount of distraction to avoid focusing in on how fast time is passing. This year is different.
I think I’ve fully realized how fast time goes by and that realization has suddenly become clearer than anything else. I kind of feel a sense of loss, loss of time. I can’t really fathom “where the time has gone.” The best way for me to deal with cloudy and strange feelings in life is to find the positive in the situation. The silver lining of turning 51 is I now fully understand the importance of truly living in the moment and being present when I am with my loved ones. That is how I’m living my life now more than ever.
At 51, I am at peace with who I am and no longer feel the need to gain the approval of others. Though, being honest, I have always been a bit of a rebel and have never been bothered much by what others think.
Other things I love about being 51:
- My marriage is in a comfortable place. Darren and I know each other so well that often times we already know what the other one is going to say or what the other one is thinking.
- My son Shelton is old enough to have an interesting and satisfying conversation without too much teenage attitude sneaking in. Of course, he has an attitude from time to time, but it is bearable.
- When I’m in a grumpy mood, I quickly blame it on menopause.
- My husband, Darren, heard on the radio that 58 is the most satisfying age. This means I still have the “most satisfying age” to look forward to.
- I have failed enough times in life, that now I have learned to embrace failures instead of fearing them. A book I read when I started my business taught me when I fail, to fail forward.
- I take better care of myself. I work out often, read nutrition labels a little more closely and make a point to eat healthy and organic foods as much as possible.
- I clearly know what I like and what I dislike.
- I know for sure I want to be around positive people and zero drama.
If I want to do something I do it and if I don’t, I don’t. I figure at least half of my life is now over and so I am going to spend the rest of my life surrounded by the ones I love. I am going to focus on participating in moments in life that bring joy and spread joy onto others
These are just a few of the many things that have reminded me that each decade is precious and brings new experiences and moments to be thankful for.
No matter your age, I encourage you to make a list of what you are thankful for at this stage of life. Sometimes just getting it down on paper can be therapeutic and lead to positive change.